Gosh, I haven’t suggested any new targets since January 10, so today I’ll give you a couple of assignments.
First, people who stand in groups in the middle of narrow sidewalks chatting as if everyone will happily step off the curb to get past them. Those people? Kill them. Just push them into the street. Don’t bother preceding your killer instinct with verbal assaults. They don’t deserve it.
Second, people who make complex requests of dogs (“Can you roll over for me?”) as if they genuinely expect the animal to understand English (or whatever human tongue you favor). How stupid can someone be? Stupider than a dog, apparently. A subset of this group is people who tell their dogs to sit or come over and over and over again, regardless of the dog’s evident refusal to comply. Dumbasses. Kill both of these types, they’re almost as bad as people who bark at dogs as if that’s cute or socially appealing. But I’ve already mentioned them, way back on December 3.
And remember, kiddies, never kill someone out of anger. That will just make you look primitive. Have a fruitful day!
