I’m listening to a lot of baseball this time of year. The Giants and the Cubs in the playoffs, oh my! More suspense and excitement than I can stand. But in the midst of all this competitive rapture are two types of people whom you should kill if they’re anywhere within range of your rock-throwing arm.
1) People who perform (or should I say reproduce) “God Bless America” at each game. This is supposed to be an honor, right? So, why do they ask half-talented people to perform it? Better question, why do half the half-talented people who accept the gig abuse the so-called opportunity with boooooooooring renditions? Who cares why? Kill them before they can torture us for 2.5 minutes.
2) Know-it-all game commentators. Yeah, yeah, they have a tough job, I get it. I understand the problem. But do they have to talk so fucking much? I mean, shut the fuck up when there’s nothing going on. Screw your old jokes, antique memories, lame-o real-time opinions. Just tell us what’s happening or be killed.