No, I’m serious. Look at my butt. It’s bigger and rounder than it was a week ago. My pecs are like slopes, my arms like the hillside divots Torino skiers negotiate with sweat on their brows. My thighs? Don’t get me started.
I jest, of course, but I’m back in the full swing of “working out” at a “gym.” Working out for me is usually all or nothing, which is why I get good results. And few places make working out as much fun as the Y. The Embarcadero Y to be precise.
I’ve always been lucky. Light exercise gives me shape. Unlike the women in my family, I don’t have to work very hard to get toned. Not buff, that’s undesirable to me; just toned.
I’m working out for approximately 1 hour per day, four days per week. Vigorous workouts on machines made by Life Fitness, which are exquisitely designed resistance machines that work every major muscle group from your shoulders to your calves. I do ten minutes of yoga before and after each workout, and on days when I don’t feel like tackling all the muscle groups, I add a few laps of rigorous swimming for that adrenaline high.
It’s really quite spectacular, feeling great. Not grunting when I bend over and stand erect again. Squatting with ease, walking with improved posture. Oh, and my butt. Out, out, baggy pant. Tight jeans are the only way to go.