Dick Chronicles

Introducing…The Dick Stupid Chronicles

Hey, I’ve got a new look, although I’m writing the same old nonsense nobody reads. To celebrate this momentous occasion, I’m introducing a new series, sort of in the vein of my internationally famous People Who Should Be Killed series. I suppose I could dust off PWSBK, but why bother? It’s my blog, I can do whatever I want.

So, without further digression, I give you the Dick Stupid Chronicles. What are the Dick Stupid Chronicles? Easy answer. It’s my commentary on various people who say or do things that prove, unequivocally, that they’re dicks and they’re stupid. Those who qualify must meet both requirements or they fall into a variety of categories that are already covered extensively in the media.

Let’s start with people who take obvious satire seriously.

When reading the Washington Post, you’re never quite sure whether opinion pieces are dead serious or a bit of a giggle at the readership’s expense. I mean, the Post is known to consider itself rather superior when it comes to matters of, you know, reality and stuff. So you could forgive the cabal of dick stupid commenters who can’t tell that columnist Karen Heller (I almost typed “Helen Keller”) is having fun at their expense.

What is she writing about? Air conditioning. A supremely dire topic in our times. No, I take that back. Nobody cares about air conditioning except those who use it and those who think that those who use it are savages.

That is exactly how Keller, um Heller, framed her column: as the scourge of savages. It was crystal clear from the get go that she was in full mockery mode, but do you think Dick and his girlfriend Stupid (there were dozens of them) down in the comments section understood that?

Don’t presume to speak for me! I have and use air-conditioning. You may choose to live without but you don’t get to decide for anyone else.

Hmmm, I think not.


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