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I’ve been lax in characterizing groups of humans whom you should kill at your leisure, so here is the latest, in honor of all the silly lawsuits and lawsuits-in-waiting plaguing the fast food industry. People who ask for special things to be done to their fast food. I don’t mean “hold the onions” or “extra [...] In episode VII of <b>People Who Should Be Killed</b>, I mentioned offing loud people. I have new candidates for murder at your earliest convenience, a group that often has crossover with Loud People, but not always. People who talk constantly. I’ve noticed that these are generally people with weak minds, disabled internal editors, or a [...] People who pull up in a car to a building where they’re expecting to pick someone up and who then honk repeatedly. Incessantly. I’m a big believer in the car horn as an emergency claxon. Don’t cry wolf. Use it when life is at stake. People who lean on horns to let someone know [...] Anyone whose mouth naturally assumes the open and slack position. Ah, the joyous tenth installment of my favorite kind of post, the kind in which I urge you to reach out and cause grievous bodily harm to a certain type of person. To celebrate the occasion, I turn your murderous attention to the creators, cast, crew, and viewers of <a href=”http://www.shespies.com/main.html”>She Spies</a>, all of whom [...] Gosh, I haven’t suggested any new targets since January 10, so today I’ll give you a couple of assignments. First, people who stand in groups in the middle of narrow sidewalks chatting as if everyone will happily step off the curb to get past them. Those people? Kill them. Just push them into the street. [...] The fuckwit authors of “counter-factual communication.” That is, anyone who subscribes to namby-pamby phychological studies that yield <a href=”http://www.msnbc.com/news/857584.asp?0cv=CB20″>ridiculously unimportant results</a>. Furthermore, anyone who subscribes to these kinds of fool studies in the hopes that the human race can eke out the perfect parent. Sometimes, our preoccupation with self-improvement is obscene. The systematic diminishment of [...] Sweet mother of Jesus, I thought that whole “Koreans eat dogs” legend went the way of white boots and fake eyelashes. What the hell is wrong with these people? Is this a <a href=”http://www.koreananimals.org/mm_photos.htm”>rampant problem</a> in South Korea or is it a case of animal activists targeting a pocketful of inhumane capitalist rats? Whatever the [...] I’d like to introduce a new feature that helps me celebrate my most misanthropic musings. Every now and then, I will identify a specific person or a type of person whom you should physically harm at your earliest convenience. It’s a fun game, and everyone can play it! Let’s start, shall we? <b>People who bark [...] |
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Copyright © 2012 H. Andrew Lynch - All Rights Reserved |
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